A guy they knew

In a week, my Beloved will be heading back east for two weeks to visit her sister and her sister's wife, her uncle and aunt, and one of her best friends. I'm not going. One reason I'm not is that when she was booking flights I did not know when I would be having my psychiatric assessment, and I didn't want to be away if a cancellation came up. Another reason is that it's a lot of time for me to take off from work. She's a school teacher, so she's off anyway. I will be taking a week off to do Girls Rock Camp, so two weeks right before that would not have worked very well.

On Saturday, in order to make some plans, Sweetie called her aunt and uncle, two of the nicest and most generous people I know. They have always treated me like one of the family, and I love them both dearly. He is one of my cooking mentors, another one of those people who can whip up a great meal out of whatever is in the fridge. He turned us on to panzanella (tomato-bread salad). She is a wonderful person and someone who is aging more than gracefully. We've always gotten along very well, and I think she was a role model before I even knew I needed female role models.

Like everyone back east, they have not seen me since my transition. I spoke with Sweetie's uncle briefly. I had been afraid to ask to speak with him in case it was too weird, but he was willing. We had a brief chat, mostly about the fact that my life is pretty normal and uneventful. Naturally, they are concerned about Sweetie, and she will tell them how things are for her. When I gave the phone back to her, I heard her correct him on my name, but that was no big deal. As she says, I don't sound that different on the phone. I know I sound different enough, because I get "ma'am"ed on the phone all the time, but when people haven't seen me, they don't instantly get the impression that anything has changed.

Now that I know when my assessment will be, maybe it's time to do a little travelling of my own, especially if my surgery won't be until next year (our vacation time is "use it or lose it" during a calendar year). It used to be that when I went to New England, I spent all or most of my time with my mother and sister. Since that's no longer an option (at least for my mother), that frees me up to see other people whom I have not seen in a long time. I have high school friends who live in the Berkshires. In the Boston area I have former work colleagues, theatre friends, former band mates, and now possibly a few new trans friends. And elsewhere in New England, I have cousins.

The phone call reminded me that it will be interesting, and probably challenging, to see people who knew me in my former life, especially if they have known me for a long time. I feel no nostalgia for my former life, but people can drag you back into it without really intending to. That former life is all they know. Unlike people I see all the time, they will need some time to get used to the new me.

There are trans friends elsewhere in North America whom I would love to visit. These are people with whom I have become very close, despite not yet having met them in person. I want to meet them. But a visit to old friends and relations should probably come first. It's about breaking out of my isolation.