Rock chick

I have always been particular about how I dress and present myself. That goes back to my male presentation days. I wasn't a peacock by any means. Far from it. I was just particular. I knew what I liked and what I didn't.

I used to go punky back in the day. I would still do that a few years ago when I'd go out to see bands. Since I transitioned, I've been more careful about that. I've done the punky thing, but I can't wear just anything. I'm not cute and/or young enough to get away with that. Cute young things look cute and young when they go punky. I tend to look boyish at best, and sometimes like an aging rocker. It's not always a great choice for me.

This past week, however, was sartorially interesting. Many of the women I was working with tended toward the artistic in their dress and presentation. Not fancy, but cool and creative. I did not necessarily follow suit, but I did get some inspiration on a couple of days. It was very common to customize one's staff T-shirt, so I snipped mine up pretty well. Usually I wore it just with jeans or crop jeans, but on Thursday I went with a look that showed up a lot among the staff—short shorts over leggings, lavender in my case.

That meant that I rode there and back on public transit wearing such things, with makeup, hair sometimes up and sometimes not, and carrying my guitar in its case. That's about as tomboyish a look as I've done in public since I transitioned. It's not that often you see a woman toting an electric guitar anyway. The only thing that would have pushed it further would have been if I'd worn my Chucks (light blue, dark blue, or pink, take your pick).

The best thing was that I felt comfortable. I didn't worry about whether people saw a female or a male or couldn't figure it out. I got some odd looks from people in the morning, but that could well have been from people just wondering why someone dressed as I was and carrying a guitar was up and about at 8 in the morning. I was at ease in my gender ambiguity. That was another small breakthrough for me.

And no matter what I was wearing, not one girl asked me any embarrassing questions. One gave me a hug as she left the showcase.

This is where I belong.

(Yes, that is a picture of Joan Jett playing at the late great CBGB, looking hellahot in more ways than one.)